The first time my parents came to visit me at Torpor Heights boarding school, my dorm adviser told my parents that I had the sort of personality that adjusted well to change.  "Everything that happen.  It is like nothing to him.  Is just.  Day."  And, broken English aside, she wasn't wrong ( Read more... )

I just spent another weekish with my crazy, racist, grandmother, in which she pointed out that the spokesman for Allstate Insurance should be on a TV program because "he's a good actor...for a colored." Watching TV with her is the most frustrating experience that doesn't involve sexual tension. Every program is "nuts...who comes up with this?", and ( Read more... )

I used to give my roommates, Celeste and Sir Trick, who were a couple, a hard time because every week or so I'd need to take a piss while they were busy fucking in the shower. When my boyfriend, Sora, moved in, I had to decide whether to take the high road, and not seek vengeance by long shower-fuck sessions, or take the low road, and see if we ( Read more... )

Before leaving for New York, Ben and I were eating breakfast at our favorite diner, when he said: "You always order the Eggs Benedict, and you manage to get like three quarters of the way through breakfast without cracking the yokes. That's damned impressive ( Read more... )

"I tend to dominate." Ben says. He has been doing most of the talking (I'd say three and a half blocks worth), since we left the coffeehouse where I work. "I have to tell my friends that it's okay to talk over me. I know I can be kind of domineering. And it's not just in conversation." His point is that we've been walking aimlessly around Boston, ( Read more... )

The computer lab where I check my e-mail plays a loop of about ten songs. Usually Eminem's "Mocking Bird", Destiny's Child's "Soldier", something by Mariah Carey (sometimes a new one, sometimes a classic...tonight it was "Emotions"), a 50 Cent track, and other assorted hip-pop. Tonight, I heard Aerosmith's "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" seven times ( Read more... )

When I wake up, Ben is in the shower singing Nelly Furtado's "Turn Out The Lights". Nelly Furtado? I should be cringing. But it sounds sooooo...sooooo...sooooo right. I take a look around the room. In an ideal world, I am looking around the room from his bed. I reek of sex and alcohol, and probably his precious Galouises. In reality, I am ( Read more... )

Bartenders know me best when I'm not drinking. And maybe that's the problem ( Read more... )

This month is an ostrich on a canoe. Midnight, June 30th/July 1st, and I am running to catch one of the last buses to take me to the last train between me, and Clarissa's house. Clarissa, who is moving the very next day, has offered me a bean bag and conversation. But first must come the bus. I am thinking "Future Fry Cook. Future Fry Cook." This ( Read more... )

The band geeks are discussing how one of them got a 98% in band even though all he did the entire semester was sit between the two most talented trombonists and copy their arm movements. "I never once played a single note unless I was asked to demonstrate something solo. When I inevitably screwed up, I told my teacher I didn't work well with ( Read more... )